It's Quite Simple to Put Into Words . . .

      Jan's recent thyroid cancer surgery, needless to say, got me to thinking about all kinds of things.  Sitting in a hospital room just "waiting around" is a cruel, harsh way to spend one's time.  Getting older each day, the whole health thing, the entire aging process thing, has come closer to the surface of my brain; I can officially call it a fact---I'm getting old. I also look around me and see more and more of us elderly, and I may be wrong, but I think more and more I'm seeing the silver ones being treated, as it were, as outsiders---the "honor" is missing for so many. I don't want to spend my final years simply avoiding being a burden on others nor do I want to be so aggressive and ardent, yet unaware of the contemporary, as to become an embarrassment to my loved ones. Just what is the pathway of proper aging, the way to age best? (Yes, as a friend has said, I'm thinking too much. I know. But, this is just who I am, I guess.)

     I've decided that it's quite simple to put into words though quite difficult to actualize, that all one really must do to age properly is to keep loving intensely those you love, to be even more passionate about your special interests, to keep doing well whatever it is you do. (My father-in-law epitomized this so very well.) Sure, sometimes we will not feel well enough to do that. But, so what. It's a matter of being real, of being genuine, of laughing when laughter is available, of crying when grief is appropriate, of dealing with the pain one encounters as quietly and patiently as possible. I want this for me. That's what I want from the rest of my life---just to be bona fide, authentic. To allow others to accept me as I am or to avoid me if they will.  It's okay.

      No, I'm not directly facing death and not being intentionally morbid. But, BJ Miller speaks of "what is really important at the end of life," and he says:  We know, for example, from research what's most important to people who are closer to death: comfort, feeling unburdened and unburdening to those they love, existential peace, and a sense of wonderment and spirituality.  Isn't that just neat!  I wish all younger people with elders in their lives could keep that fixed in the very front of their minds. For me, three of those four "wants" I have covered in my good friend Jesus Christ---the peace that goes beyond our finite understanding.  The fourth is tougher for me to foresee, but I pray God will not let me become a burden to my family---and I must leave that in His capable hands. 

      So . . . that's the way I want to finish out my life, and I hope other aging folks can realize we must strive, must persevere, to truly live until we die---not merely crumble away. I pray the youth of America will properly respect their elders. I love Robert Frost's remark: "The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected." God bless.